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Greeting in the name of Jesus. My name is Barney Barnhill. I'll begin by saying that I 'm not the best of speakers, writing is my gift. I'll give it my best shot because this testimony may bring some to, or closer to Jesus. I feel honored that the Lord is using me to communicate this message. So that's my mission in life now, to help set the captives free from the chains and shackles of addictions and other things that Satan uses to bring suffering to the masses.

The keyword here is hope. So many people in our world have no hope. I'm hoping that someone might hear this testimony and it may bring them hope, even bring healing to their lives. Healing to as many as possible, from sexual addictions, perversions, drugs, alcohol, anger, unforgiveness, criminal activities, hopelessness, pain, sorrow, depression, broken hearts, suffering from a terminal illness, poverty, or have no family who cares about them, or just lost with no direction in life.

I'd like to mention gratitude. We all have something to be grateful for. Some more than others. I'm especially grateful to be here today to thank Jesus for taking the sins of the world to the cross with Him to pay the ultimate sacrifice. He made it possible for God, the Father, to forgive us, cleanse us, and give us salvation.

I am grateful for all the miracles that God used in my life to see me thought so many storms and disasters. For many years I wasn't grateful, even though the Lord rescued me from the jaws of death more times than I can count on my fingers.

I remember back in my youth, I faced death as a small boy from complications from surgery. I almost bled to death from internal bleeding. I prayed a simple child's prayer and the Lord heard me.

I won't dwell on all the abuse I experienced as a child. Especially at the catholic church where I went. I could write a couple of chapters on that alone. I have made peace with all of those and put that behind me. God forgave me and I have forgiven also.

I was in church school the first three grades. I would go early to the school chapel and pray to Jesus and Father God. Back then, I had a loving relationship with Him. I didn't understand a lot about Him back then, I just knew I loved Him and it helped to bring comfort from my situation at home. So much happened over the years during my youth. At about age fifteen, I drifted away and started taking drugs to escape the abuse I was experiencing at home. I began with huffing paint and went on to alcohol, weed, pills of all sorts, meth and LSD. I know I destroyed lots of brain cells. I was a confused and angry teen looking for a way to cope. I started selling drugs to support my habit, and was rebellious with my parents. After a big fight with my dad I left home and that was the biggest mistake I ever made. I was arrested some months later for felony drug possession.

While in the county jail, I was trying to be really hard with the inmate guards and knew I could take any one of then in a fight. The confronted me with razors to cut my long hair and I went at the biggest one and all five jumped me and beat me near to death. I had such a bad head injury that when I tried to walk straight, I would walk sideways.

Soon, after my release, I had my first motorcycle. I rode it every where. It was so calming with a sense of freedom. Just the roar of the engine and the wind in my face. One day, I was broadsided by a drunk driver in a pickup truck going at a high rate of speed. My bike was so mangled it appeared that I had perished. I spent some time in the hospital with broken bones and a concussion. It took me a while before I could walk again with broken pelvic bones.

A few years later I was in a drag race in an extremely powerful muscle car going about 70 mph in third gear, when a diesel truck entered the intersection ahead of us. There was no way for me to stop. I hit the truck in a violent, grinding crash. The doors opened on impact as the car spun to the left, flipped and slammed into a deep ditch. It came to rest as a demolished smoking hunk of twisted steel.

I was thrown from the car and when I can to, there were people standing over me. I had blankets on me and when I tried to get up to check on my friends, they told me to lie still that I might have internal injuries. I spent time in the hospital again and had another head injury. I hit that truck so hard that it knocked the wheels out from under it. It had gone some seventy-five feet through a hurricane fence and into the back yard of a corner building. If we had gone under the trailer, we would have been decapitated. My Lord rescued me...again!

Being here today is fulfillment of a vow I made to the Lord some three decades ago as I lay alone and dying from being blasted point blank with a shot gun in a gang hit. I had a huge hole though me, and I was bleeding profusely. I knew that I only had minutes to live and there was no one near to help as I was in a strange house and could only whisper. My left side was paralyzed. I had a feeling of impending doom and I realized that I probably wasn't going to Heaven. Suddenly, I knew that I had to call on Jesus. I pleaded with the Lord and made a vow to Him that if He would spare my life somehow, I would be a living witness of his mercy, forgiveness and salvation. But I couldn't envision how this miracle would happen. I repented of all my sins and I asked for forgiveness. That day, I asked Jesus into my heart.

Suddenly, there was a warm peace that came over me and the feeling of doom left. Even in this situation, I felt a great joy that filled me. Wither way, live or die, I knew that I was saved. I was prepared to go. It may sound unbelievable, but I had a smile on my face as I lifted my good arm toward Heaven. It was then, that I saw a cord over my head. This was the miracle I had asked for. I pulled the cord and a telephone fell from a shelf and landed right by me. I called the operator and it was as if and angel was on the other end. "May I help you?" I whispered my situation and fell into shock and later a coma. Before I went out, I could hear a lone siren in the distance.

I woke up in the hospital after two weeks in the ICU. I realized I was paralyzed on my left side. I spent two months in the hospital and there were complications. I had a fever of one hundred six degrees. An infection had set in the huge hole in my back that went all the way through me. Then pneumonia set in and it appeared again, that I had to ask the Lord for His help. They used an experimental antibiotic on me and it took a while, but my fever finally broke and the medicine did its work. I didn't know much about the Bible at this point, but I remembered a scripture from school where the Lord said, "I will neither leave you or forsake you." and he didn't.

I had a gal that had been coming to see me since day one. She was the neighbor right behind my parents house and I guess you could call her the "girl next door". She was so beautiful and had a wonderful personality. I never dreamed that she would be interested in me, but she told me later that she'd had a secret crush on me for years. I fell in love with her and we married some eight months later.

There were other car and motorcycle wrecks. Gun play with enemies from the past. Later, I backslid and went back on drugs. I had tried ever sort of drug. I've overdosed three times. I lost track of arrests at thirteen. A lot of the things I was arrested for or accused of, I didn't do. The last episode I was run down by a speeding police car as I tried to evade arrest. Another head injury and I was in a wheelchair due to an injured hip. I feel that drugs were the cause of all of my misfortune.

Before I was shot I was a member of a dangerous street gang that numbered at least 20 of us. Later in years, I became a hang around to another larger and more dangerous gang.

I was out of work for a long period of time and was making ends meet with a cute stick. I was really doing well with that, but had another bike wreck and broke my collar bone and that was the end of that for a long while.

A couple of years passed and I was doing the concert promoter thing for a heavy metal and death metal band. That just turned into a long continuous party with me staying high day and night.

Over the years I made so many promises to God that if He would deliver me just this once more time, I'd straighten up. But when He kept His end of the bargain I'd try my best, but the desire of the worldly life would win out and I'd fall right back into sin and darkness.

Not till I shot a man and received a forty year sentence did my running from God stop. One night, I found myself in a prison suicide cell devoid of hope. I was ashamed, dejected, and lost. That night of all people, a prison guard gave me a Bible to read. He led me in prayer to rededicate my life to God. He said he could sense God's calling on my life. He said that someday, I would be a servant for the Lord and help others. I told him he just didn't realize what all I had done. He told me I just didn't realize what all God could do! I told him that I love God and I would try my best. He told me that God could use someone like me to reach those that are in a similar situation. He said that God could heal all of my life, not just part of it. I took the Bible and started to read in Psalms. What a comfort! I started to believe again, and take God seriously.

The road ahead was a long and dangerous journey. The prison gangs were at war and there were many stabbings and killings. I had another 14 years to go to even come up for parole on my forty year sentence.

I still couldn't believe how the Lord could use someone like me. Bit I started going to church, Bible studies, reading the Word, and praying. I started in the New Testament and was intrigued by the apostle Paul. Now this guy was someone I could relate to! At one time he was an enforcer for the Jews and he had been arresting Christians and killing them. But then he met Jesus one day on the road to Demascus. He was so awed that he gave his life to Him. That day, he became blind, but a while later regained his sight. It was a supernatural transformation.

Pail had been through so much after he decided to serve the Lord. He had been almost beaten to death, stoned and left for dead, shipwrecked several times, almost died from a snake bite, had a hit put out on his life, and was in and out of prison. Even so, he served the Lord with all of his heart, mind, soul, and strength. He wrote most of the New Testament Bible and though he was executed in Rome, his words still live on.

For that sixteen years I did on this last case, God worked on me as a piece of pottery. Forming and molding me. He gave me the desire to give up so many addictions, immoral habits, and ungodly behaviors. I even quit smoking. That alone is a miracle!

I had been trying for years to give up all of these things using my own strength, but without the Lord I could do nothing. I had been bound by the chains and shackles of sin, enslaved for years. But, yes, I can say that I am grateful for that sixteen years I did on this last case because I found a treasure! The riches of God's love, mercy, forgiveness, and healing. I now sincerely ask for forgiveness of those I've hurt and harmed years ago and those I've wronged. I also forgive those who have transgressed against me as to be forgiven you must first forgive. Only God can take a stinking piece of garbage like me from the pits of the garbage dump, lift it up, clean it up, and make it like new again and put it to use and He does it as a witness of what He can do for others in the same situation.

While I was in prison the Lord brought so many caring loving Christians into my life. They wrote me and sent pictures. Rev. Don Dickerman, Rev. Walt at Beehive. My two Christian cousins Missy and Tommy. They were a great blessing and since I was paroled out nine years ago, Spencer and Tom Murtha. They helped me to grow in my faith and love for others. I hope that I never let them down.

It took years for me to fully commit and totally surrender my life to the Lord. I was tired of straddling the fence and finally once and for all, jumped to the side of my God. No longer lukewarm. He set me free from the chains and shackles of sing and from the desires of the world. Thinks like pornography, car theft, drugs, violence, idolatry, pride, and more.

It's not that I try real hard not to sin. It's the blood of the Holy Lamb and the grace of God that have set me free. I just don't have the desire to do the things I used to do. Temptation will come but it's much easier to dismiss and call for the help I need from the Lord. I died to sin when I submitted to God. I was a slave to sin, but now am a servant of good. I'm a new creature in Christ. I try not to set myself up for things like drugs, or negative pleasures of the world that I once had no control over. A lot of people say I didn't do enough time, but they just don't realize that even a week is a long time if it's you that is experiencing it. One year is a long. And I did sixteen years of hard time. It's harder in there if you are handicapped. Half of those sixteen years, I had little funds coming in and it's hard to go without deodorant or toothpaste and to eat that awful food. To sit on steel benches. No air in the summer with the temperature over one hundred degrees. To go for months without even a soda. I could go on and on. But one thing came of this, a changed life. Just like Paul, the Lord gave me a thorn that keeps me aware of where he brought me from. And I never want to go back there.

I never dreamed that I'd hunger for church, prayer time, or fellowshipping with other Christians. Romans 8:28 says, "All things work together for the good of those who love God those called according to doing His purpose."

I do have a totally satisfying love for the Lord that is far greater than any worldly pleasure I've known. No kind of sin will satisfy like the living water that totally satisfies.

I continue to learn more and more each day and grow more and more each day. I don't claim to be perfect, but acceptable to God because of the miracle of the cross.

They say to let our light shine not hide it under a basket. That men day see our good works because this brings great glory to our father in heaven. We are here for two reasons. That's to please and glorify the father.

I am grateful today, because in this raging storm that surrounds me and threatens to consume me. Jesus has me by the hand and is leading me to the peaceful eye of the storm. His faithful promises are my armor and my protection and I believe that His angels are all around me.

So many Christians coming into my life. Though their love and concern, I learned to love others. I pray that God will love others through me and that He gave me love overflowing each day.

Since my release nine years ago, I was given by God a small ministry sending Bibles, tapes, music CDs, and books to the blind and handicapped inmates in prison. My cousin and I have written three Christian novels. One has been published so far, and this testimony. You can order either on our website, www.sonsofencouragement.org. Send us your prayer requests and we'll pray for you.

I'm now a licensed minister through my church and a deacon. I owe all of that to our Lord. Praise God.

I had asked my pastor if I could give a testimony. They said sure. They had been preaching on our calling in the body of Christ. I told them I would be a finger. I typed the three novels with one finger which being transformed into Christian novels and my testimony is like I'm pointing the way to the Heaven above with that same finger. It's like a song that I heard sometime back, "Don't look at me if you are looking for perfection. Don't look at me, I'll only let you down. Don't look at me, but I'll point the right direction. Don't look at me, look at Him!"

I gave my testimony and I feared what the congregation would think of me afterward. After all, it was sort of a hardcore story. Then, I remembered several hardcore stories in the Bible. So, I gave it my best shot. I spoke for about twenty minutes and at the end, people stood and applauded. Several came up after and asked if I had a copy that they could give to a son that is struggling or other loved ones and that I needed to get this out for people to hear. I was so worried about being rejected and I was overjoyed so much that tears welled up in my eyes. I was kind of uncomfortable about that, but I remembered when I totally accepted the Lord in solitary confinement and how I cried for Jesus and what he did on the cross for me and how they tortured Him.

I was invited to speak at a prison ministry anniversary service some one hundred fifty miles away. Surprisingly there were about two hundred people there at the Civic Center. A lot of the guests were prison guards and other ministry people. A warden was the guest speaker and I was to go on right before him. The music and singing were great. I was nervous again, but I asked the Lord for help. Finally, it was my time to speak. I gave about a twenty minute testimony and again the people stood and I realized then, that the Lord was truly using me and I felt a great joy. Again, after the service, guests asked me for audio copies and said that this could be a great tool for the Lord to use to help so many lost and suffering out there. Mothers were asking for help with their wayward child or children, wives were asking for help with their alcoholic husbands, families were asking for help for their family that were inmates in prison who had joined prison gangs and had no way out. I just felt a burden for these people. I thought about my wife that had died while I was in prison. I missed her so much because I really and truly loved her. I could sense her looking down from heaven.

I later met a lady at that service and we really connected. She was a good Christian lady and had a singing ministry and I just loved hearing her sing! Some months later, we married and have spent the last 7 years together. We're still in love.

I was once pro-abortion, thinking no unwanted child should be brought into the world to suffer, but after knowing the Lord, I decided that no one should be denied the chance to find the love of a lifetime with our Lord. I'm now pro-life!

I am so grateful to the Lord for He has blessed a life that was once cursed. I have a dear friend that is still in prison and his name is Billy. He was in that car wreck with me. He was a ranking gang member in prison and he was in the street gang along with me back in the day. Though now he sits on death row, he as given his life to Jesus. I was surprised to hear that. He is bringing the word to the condemned there and loves the Lord, now, with all his heart. He and I are proof that God can change, and use anyone!

My life is better now than ever before. I have a nice car, beautiful wife, a home and land, and the Lord is number one in my life. Jesus is waiting for you to open your heart to Him. Don't make all of the same mistakes I made and become a dead man walking. I say that because I have a fatal liver disease and I still have a hit on me from years and years ago. I could go in a year, two years, or tomorrow. I don't know. Only God the Father knows when it's time to call me home. I'll be busy for Him with the time I have left. I want to make up for all the things I did some twenty-five to thirty-five years ago.

The bottom line is that drugs can destroy your life. You, young people, just say no to anyone who is pressuring you to try drugs. You may feel that it is the only way to fit in. All of the things in this testimony happened to me when I was high on one sort of drug or alcohol. I turned to Jesus for healing in my life. You can, too. If you are going though a situation that is causing you great stress and you are looking for a way to escape, try Jesus Christ. He might not give you all the things you ask for, but He will give you all you need. If you come closer to the Lord, He'll come closer to you. He will be by you side though the storms. If you hang with people that are angry and negative you will become just like them. So try to find friends that will be by you and care about you. If you find yourself in a jail cell, you gang friends won't send money or try to help you. You'll be on your own. The only people that cared about me were good Christians. They were a great comfort to me. I hope this testimony will open eyes and hearts and maybe hep heal someone's life. If you are lost and suffering right now turn to your Bible and I suggest you start with Psalms. Find somewhere quiet and private. Try talking to the Lord. Jesus loves you. The Lord says in Psalms 91, "I will rescue those that love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me I will answer. I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue them and honor them. I will satisfy them with a long life and give them my salvation." Amen.

The Lord has answered most all of my prayers except for the one that went unanswered for almost 30 years. My mother had given up on me 27 years ago. It was hard to lose my mom, but I never quit praying for her. Well the Lord is awesome and after I proved that I put myself out there and am totally serving him and no games I talked to my mom for the first time on the phone after 27 years and not just that but she told me that she loved my and welcomed me back, but she told me that she’s a born again Christian. THANK YOU JESUS! For an answer to thousands of prayers. One Saturday we spent the day with my mom and there were many hugs and tears – GOD IS AWESOME and his love will never end for ..Love conquers all..